How Do I Help Someone with Cancer Surgery
When you first hear that your spouse, family member or friend has cancer the shock is very real. Once you have you absorbed the news and the treatment options have been discussed, when surgery has been recommended, the first question we usually ask ourselves is “how do I help someone with cancer surgery”?
Acknowledge Your Own Feelings and Grief
It is essential that you allow yourself to grieve and be worried and don’t pretend to be happy or not concerned about the diagnosis. We tend to think that if we share our own grief we cannot help the person we love who has been diagnosed. It is a rare person that can hide their true feelings and often the best support that a person can give prior to surgery, especially major surgery, is to be there for them and share the patient’s understandable grief and fear with them.
Many cancer survivors have stated that the ability to cry, laugh and deal with the range of emotions they face with someone who shares those moments with them is more useful than people who visit and in their attempts to support the patient avoid the issues. Take advantage of the hospice or hospital pastoral care teams and chaplaincy departments to find support from people who help people like you support their loved ones in this very traumatic time for all involved. You can seek the answers for your “how do I help someone with cancer surgery” questions through this department and they can help point you in the direction of other support services who can answer other practical questions relating to the recovery period after surgery.
Ensure you have a support person as well, a friend you can turn to when you leave the hospital and who will understand your own need for some normality in your life. If you are going to need to spend extended periods of time at the hospital, it may be helpful to find friends who can help with children or maintenance of the home to reduce the pressure on you and maintain some normality in your family life.
Utilise the Hospital Support Systems
There will be many inevitable practical questions that your friend or loved one will need answered. Questions may include such dilemmas as how to deal with loss of income and how to modify the family home to accommodate post-surgery recovery. The hospital support systems such as the social work department will be able to assist you in finding these answers and to fill in any paper work that maybe required.
When you are faced with the difficult task of asking yourself “how do I help someone with cancer surgery” the important consideration is to be there for the patient to help them make a successful post-surgical recovery. Standing with them and being available to help with their physical and emotional needs and then continuing to help resolve any practical needs they may have is the most valuable form of help you can give to anyone you care about who is facing the diagnosis of cancer and surgical intervention to provide a potential cure.